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actionables:

Me: mom, dad, this is my girlfriend Eve

Mom: the fuck I thought you had a boyfriend

Dad: the Bible said Adam and Eve, not gay is okay

Me: wait for my surprise

Mom: another one

Dad: what surprise

*a guy walks in*

Me: this is my boyfriend Adam

Parents:

Me: do you get it, Adam and Eve hahaha, Adam and Eve

Parents: no

Me: but the Bible said

theawesomeadventurer:

they saw the chance and fucking sprinted with it

theawesomeadventurer:

they saw the chance and fucking sprinted with it

burgrs:

how dare u ignore me after ive made 0 attempts at talking to u

bawllinq:

i can’t feel this way anymore

bawllinq:

i can’t feel this way anymore

theliftinglife00:

zumainthyfuture:

reddlr-trees:

Pizza place at my university offers a “stoner pie” complete with pepperoni, bacon, extra cheese, mozzarella sticks, and French fries.

Get the pepperoni outta here and we good money

ill take the pepporoni

theliftinglife00:

zumainthyfuture:

reddlr-trees:

Pizza place at my university offers a “stoner pie” complete with pepperoni, bacon, extra cheese, mozzarella sticks, and French fries.

Get the pepperoni outta here and we good money

ill take the pepporoni

rlypoetic:

6:48 PM

rlypoetic:

6:48 PM